A red-tailed hawk attacked a girl on a tour of Fenway Park Thursday, drawing blood and sending the girl to a hospital for treatment.
[Hank] swooped down on the girl, [his] talons cutting her head above her eyes.
The hawk flew off after the attack.
Great. Now he has a taste for human blood and will live to despoil another day.
Although this debauch pales in comparison to my feces-drenched stoop, with today's massacre the jive turkey has gone too far. That bird must be stopped.