Title of Post

I find my shoe laces untied more often than not these days and I am without explanation as to why.

Coming off the tail of summer, sandal weather, sun tanning my feet, the whole shoe and shoe lace thing is a tad bit annoying in its own right; give the laces a propensity for moving toward an untied state and the situation is downright unnerving.

Careful investigation--I called Mom, to make sure she correctly taught me how to tie shoe laces in the first place--and I suspect that the problem lies not in the tie, but in the lacing itself: I believe all of my shoes are mislaced.

They look fine, to be sure, but I don't think they are. Why else do they keep coming untied?

Anyhow, here I am, this is odd but this is me. I now find myself prepared to make the following offer: I need someone of the utmost shoe lacing experience to come into my home and lace and/or relace (as appropriate) all of my shoes (and possibly other items that require lacing). For some reason, I own a lot of shoes, so this job requires a lot of lacing--by nothing less than a bonafide shoe lacing expert.

Your shoe lacing experience must be documented and accompanied by several references. Serious inquiries only. Female applicants strongly preferred.